Author: Leon

Online Dating

Online Dating in Ireland 2019

Leon/ / Thoughts

UPDATED Jan 2021

I see myself as somewhat of a pioneer in the online dating realm. I met my ex-wife online back in 2002, not only LONG before online dating became cool but almost before the internet itself! Or at least before broadband became widely available. I had to do all of my online courting via dialup. I’m still paying off the phone bills. I remember hiding the fact that we’d met online for at least 10 years afterwards. The shame! But it seems everyone is at it these days whether they’re in a relationship already or not!

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The end of a Summer

Leon/ / My Poetry

Shadows lengthening, growth slowing, sun weakening,
Signalling the end of another summer.
The endless, merciless cycle of the seasons.
Time you cruel bastard!
Why do you play with us so?
Why do you tempt us with the beautiful promise of Spring…
Only to leave us in despair with the breaking of that promise?
Give and take, give and take – it’s just a cruel game.
If there is a God, he’s laughing at us….

Written by me about 20 years ago.

Life, The Universe and Nothing..ness

Leon/ / Thoughts

I’ve just been out for a 10,000 step, 7.14km walk. A new route which is a combination/grouping of various old routes I used to walk locally. I bit off a bit more than I could chew to be honest. I arrived home in pain and feeling like a hip transplant. The things I do for serotonin hits.

I went for the walk for these reasons – I didn’t have anything else to do, was feeling down and it was sunny…ish. A familiar story these days, except the sun bit, as work is very quiet and I spend four to five days a week totally alone, desperately looking for constructive things to do and the motivation to do them. On the way back, as I flirted with tractors, trucks and cars on a small stretch of the road with no footpath and listening to the unhelpfully morose but brilliant music of Lana Del Rey, I stepped over two bees in quick succession, crawling along the road, nowhere near any flowers and struggling to survive. I didn’t bother helping them like the cool, caring people always seem to do these days before sharing it on Facebook. Gotta save the bees. I don’t feel too bad about it though as I didn’t have a spoon, sugar or water about my person but I suspect that even if I did, I wouldn’t have bothered. Each to their own really, I can’t be taking on bee’s or the world’s problems. It’s a case of survival of the fittest, which is pretty much how my own life struggle is panning out these days. Surviving seems to be getting more difficult but at least I’m kinda fit. A little more so after my 7km anyway. More on the bees later..

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Travelling Observations

Leon/ / My Poetry

Her yawning, reflected mouth requires a fleshy encounter,
I fantasise.
Neatly shaped, shining legs extend as she climbs the stairwell.
Our mutual angle almost reveals private land,
But she slips out of sight in time.

The warm-legged girl beside me keeps catching my eyes in the glass partition.
An ironic, emotional connection give our proximity.
On another occasion I sit centre aisle at the back.
Two uniformed schoolgirls enter,
One blonde freedom, the other brunette reservation.

They sit sideways, close to me, straddling the aisle,
Blissfully unaware of my trouser contents,
As I eagerly overhear their conversation.
Old creatures shuffle slowly and clumsily past,
Reminding me of my surroundings.

An annoying young child receives my feeble smile.
An obese woman boards, to create panic,
In the minds of single-seated passengers.
My destination is reached and I slowly disembark,
Returning to madness.

Written 20 years ago.

Another day in the life

Leon/ / My Poetry

Birth sounds a lot like sex,
Another life shagged!
Infants gush forth into existence,
Carried on a stream of blood, perhaps leaving likewise.

All the shapes and sizes of people,
Rushing to an unknown destination.
In my mind I project a downward view,
And think of slave ants scurrying aimlessly.

On the bus and old drunk shuffles,
Onto a seat beside the young, pretty girl.
Her face portrays the anticipation,
Of awkward moments to follow.

I share the experience when another drunk mumbles to me,
“I buried my brother today
– cancer took him away.”
All the while clutching his brothers memorial card.

I said I was sorry to hear it,
Without actually feeling any sorrow.
I didn’t care about his troubles,
And was content to judge him.

A stranger stopped and asked me was I a Christian man,
I said “No – Atheist”, he asked why?
But I had no answer for him.
I think I have created my own destruction.

Written 20 years ago.

A few questions

Leon/ / My Poetry

Why is madness more interesting than sanity?
Why don’t people see the bigger picture?
Why do we think we’re so important?
Why am I here?

What is beauty?
What is intelligence?
What is kindness?
What am I?

When will the world end?
When will there be peace?
When will we learn?
When will I die?

Where is God?
Where has all the love gone?
Where has the past gone?
Where am I?

How did we get in this state?
How big is the universe?
How do we survive?
How am I, really?

Who is responsible for us all?
Who was the first person to love?
Who decided right from wrong?
Who am I?

Written 20 years ago.

New Religion

Leon/ / My Poetry

I am the new Jesus Christ.
I have come, not to enlighten you,
But to confuse you.
Not to lead you along the path of righteousness,
But to lead you all to hell.
I will not suffer for your sins,
But let you suffer for your own.
I will not heal the sick,
But kill them and end their misery.
I will not offer you hope,
Because there is none to offer.

Written 20 years ago.

Conjugation of my hatred

Leon/ / My Poetry

I hate me
I hate you
I hate him
I hate her
I hate us
I hate you (plural)
I hate them (masculine)
I hate them (feminine)

I hate narrow mindedness
I hate ignorance
I hate avoidable stupidity
I hate drunkenness
I hate coldness
I hate dishonesty
I hate authority
I hate work

I hate dirt
I hate children murdered
I hate falseness
I hate boredom
I hate money
I hate old age
I hate depression
I hate talking without saying anything

I love……….. Everything else!

Written 20 years ago.

Me, me, me

Leon/ / My Poetry

Trying to sleep to kill time,
And one day, time will kill me.
Wasting each day, in my prime,
It’s not all it seems to be free.

I’m outside, looking in on the fun,
Banging on the window, but unheard.
Am I happy to just exist with the sun,
And to remain this way, lonely and scared?

My boredom feels terminal, no one seems real,
My wavelength is outside the spectrum.
My cure is a girl who’s heart I can steal,
As I pluck this sad song with my plectrum.

Trying to sleep to kill time,
As, one day, time will kill me.
Wasting the days, in my prime,
Is this how my life is meant to be?

Written 20 years ago.